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Anger Management: What it is and what it isn’t

When I meet with people for the first time they often ask me: “So what am I supposed I do when I am really angry?”

Most of the time, they have already heard a number of strategies. Count to 10. Take a deep breath. Go for a walk. Think before you act. They expect that I will say something like that, or maybe have a new secret trick that will help them when they are about to lose their temper.

Is that “Anger Management?”

But the problem is, for most people, this approach just doesn’t work. That’s because that is not anger management. Even though most people think it is, anger management is not what to do the second before you lose it. Instead, anger management is everything you do leading up to the moment when you are about to lose it. It’s doing the right thing five minutes before, one hour before, one day before, and one week before– so that you never get to the point when you are about to lose it.

The truth is that when you reach a certain point of extreme anger, nothing is going to work. All the tools in the world are useless. I could tell you 100 different things to do and they would all fail. So if you want to beat anger, the key is simple– make sure you never get to that point.

What anger management IS

Anger management is not figuring out what to do a second before the balloon pops. It is making sure the balloon never gets to that point in the first place. That’s really what anger management is all about.

 

 

What’s my first step to manage my anger, then?

How do you do that? How do you make sure you never get to that point? Give Colorado Anger Solutions a call or contact us, and let’s talk.

 

This article was originally posted on michaelballard.net.